Some recent events have made me think about some of my dating experiences and I decided I wanted to share some thoughts. The recent event.......the boy I spent a little time with last summer got arrested several weeks ago. Let me just state that I was not in a relationship with him (although he sometimes called it that). I think I was bored last summer and he was showing interest. I never really liked him, therefore I said whatever I wanted to him and was actually quite sassy to him. It was fun and I think he thought I was flirting but really I was just being honest. For example: He asked one day what made us attracted to each other. I replied, "I never said I was attracted to you." Snotty huh? It was fun though. Part of it was he was constantly looking for praise and when I can tell someone is doing that I can't give it to them. Maybe part of it too was I feel like I have been played and it was my turn to give it back. Poor guy, he just happened to be the one that came around right then. It reminds me of a Carrie Underwood song. The first verse says:
Wanna find some boy, rip his heart right out
First Man I see, gonna take him down
It ain't the Christian thing to do they say
But someone somewhere's gotta pay
Chorus: If it wasn't for guys like you there wouldn't be songs like this,
And if you hadn't gone and done me wrong I wouldn't go off like this,
Even I'm surprised how easy sweet revenge rolls off my lips, and if it wasn't
for guys like you there wouldn't be songs like this.
I think I really felt that way. It is kind of scary how much I enjoy "angry girl music" as I like to call it. Anyway back to the arrest. I might be going to Hell for as much as I enjoyed the fact that this boy got arrested. I do feel bad that he is such a mess though. I don't know the details but it was domestic violence against his roommate and the roommate received a broken jaw. That is all I know. I could tell he had a temper but luckily I only saw a glimpse of it the night I told him for the fourth time that we were done hanging out. I have told people about him getting arrested and the comment I get is "Well it is good you didn't get to involved with him." My response "Yes, and people accuse me of being to picky." Well people, maybe you should trust my judgement.
It has caused me to reflect on some other boys I have gone on dates with and gotten bad mouthed for not giving them more of a chance. I thought of two other examples.
When I was 26 I went on a date with a man who was 37. Number one the age difference was a little much for me. Number two, I was not attracted to him at all and I just didn't feel like we were on the same page. However, he wanted to take me out again but I politely turned him down so that I didn't waste either of our time. Someone said to me that he seemed like a nice guy and I wasn't giving him a fair chance. I wasn't interested at all. What more is there. There has to be a little desire to want to give them a second date. Well he ended up dating someone I knew for a little while. One of the problems, he wasn't active in the church and didn't want to be. She wanted to get married in the temple. Hmmm, looks like my judgement was okay on that one.
Second example. I got set up with a guy who I went on four dates with. He seemed like a pretty good guy. He was even nice looking. By the third date I wasn't feeling it. I couldn't explain why. When I ended things with him the person who set us up gave me a hard time about it. Later I met the former roommates of the boy I had been set up with. They had lived with him when he had gone out with me. They told me that when he came home from the first date with me he said "I think I found her!" Flattering, but we were not on the same page, maybe not even in the same book. Then the former roommates asked me if I had kissed him. I told them no (which was the truth). They said, "Really?! He told us that you two made out all the time." Wow, lies. I am pretty sure I would have remembered that. Then they proceeded to tell me that he told them I would call him fifty times a day and he just had to ignore most of those calls because he didn't have time to talk to me that much. The only time I ever called him was to return his calls I had ignored. Once again, it looks like my judgement was intact.
So after dealing with a liar, criminal and someone one who was inactive (not to mention some of the others), another Carrie Underwood song comes to mind:
It's not like I'm not trying, I'll give anyone a shot once
So I close my eyes, and kiss that frog
Each time finding, the more boys I meet
The more I love my dog!